Green & Teal Monsters: Which is More Intimidating?

Which is more effective in keeping baseballs inside the ballpark: the Green Monster (Fenway Park) or the Teal Monster (Dolphin Stadium)?

-The popular sentiment seems to be that the Green Monster is more intimidating. The Green Monster is more feared by batters and has a greater fame for being big, but, with all due respect to the venerable Green Monster, I would say the Teal Monster is, in fact, more effective in keeping baseballs in the park and, therefore, at least should be more intimidating for right-handed hitters. (The question of which one is more intimidating for left fielders is quite a different question altogether--the Green Monster would probably win that contest--but that is not the issue here).

Why do I think the Teal Monster should be more intimidating for right-handed hitters? Although the Green Monster is 37 feet tall, and, therefore, is 4 feet taller than the Teal Monster (33 feet tall), nevertheless the Teal Monster is between 330 feet (left field foul pole) and 434 feet away (center field) from home plate, whereas the Green Monster is only between 310 (foul pole) and 379 (left-center) from home. Therefore, although the ball has to fly 4 feet higher at Fenway to clear the fence, it needs to travel at least 20 feet farther at Dolphin Stadium. The average home run, upon landing, descends more than 4 feet per 20 feet of horizontal travel. This means that most balls that fly over the Teal Monster would also fly over the Green Monster, but not vice versa. Conversely, many high fly balls that just make it over the Monster at Fenway would stay well within Dolphin Stadium and end up being fly outs. The physics alone make it evident.

Not convinced? The next time you have a chance, ask any major-league, right-handed slugger whether he would prefer that the fence be 20 feet farther away form home or just 4 feet higher from the ground; I bet he would say the latter.

Also, the Teal Monster is a bit longer, extending throughout the entire left field wall, from the left field foul pole to almost straightaway center field. The Green Monster, on the other hand, extends from the pole to somewhere between left-center and straightaway center (see diagrams). So the Teal Monster covers more of the fence.

As a consequence of all of this, it seems clear that the Teal Monster is more effective in keeping balls in the ballpark than the Green Monster, despite popular sentiments to the contrary. Perhaps an indication of this is that, despite the Marlins' success in winning two world championships, in all those 14 years of Marlins baseball since they began playing in 1993, there has only been one Marlins hitter who has achieved a 40+ HR season: Gary Sheffield in 1996, with 42. (This fact is rather surprising in ours, the "steroids era.") Sheffield was so hot that year that he acomplished this despite being a right-handed slugger who had to play half of his games against that Teal Monster. (Imagine what he would have done if he had played for another franchise instead, especially one with a "hitter's ballpark," like Coors Field!)

To conclude, if you ask me which one is more historically relevant, more venerable, and more dear to my heart, I would say the Green Monster. But I think Teal Monster is physically more effective in keeping balls in the ballpark.